


Two heads and one heartbeat

by snoozingkitten



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:54:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snoozingkitten/pseuds/snoozingkitten
Summary: Sunday June 17th, 2021,Honolulu Star Advertiser: Jaeger pilots heroes of a new age?It was another stunning day filled with sun and tourists when the Kaiju alarm began to sound. Citizens of the islands of Hawaii live in constant fear of the next alarm and today would be that day. Mokuhinia a category 2 exited the breach early Saturday morning scrambling Jaeger Rangers all across the Pan Pacific Rim Defense shatterdomes across the globe. Two such rangers are Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin from our very own PPRD, two braves souls in a fight against the Kaiju threat.Turn to page 3 for full spread images of Hawaii's very own Titan Rise launching and more on this story and how we all survived to see another beautiful day.





	Two heads and one heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> I know the title is a little over-done, but it really fit, so I'm running with it. Title lifted from 2 Heads by Coleman Hell
> 
> Also, I actually began writing this somewhere around three years ago before putting it down and wandering away from it until recently. Some kind people commented on some older works and I remembered I actually like writing! 
> 
> I've read this about four times trying to get the beginning to match, so if you notice something off please let me know so I can fix it. 
> 
> Lastly, a lot of the details about the Pacific Rim universe are taken from the novelization of the movie which I've read a few times because I'm a Kaiju groupie. Time-line wise this happens a bit before the beginning of the movie. I've done my best to make it clear for people who have never seen the movie to follow along, giant robots versus monsters isn't a hard concept to follow

In the beginning Sidney didn’t take much into the Drift. 

They had established this during the staggering multitude of tests they ran on him, some with electrodes stuck to his head, the gel making his hair slick and greasy later, some with him filling in endless bubbles on a question sheet. So many little dancing lines on a screen and even more scientists to look at them. He’d been told his mind was singularly focused and remarkably clean. Sidney realized this for sure the first time he entered the drift. 

One of the scientists was a psychiatrist. He didn’t like the long couch, the one Dr. Greenfield made him use when she would talk to him. It was supposed to help somehow. Sidney thought he probably wasn’t supposed to comment on it, everything she did felt like a test down to the stupid couch. Ten minutes in her office felt like ten hours. It was almost a gruelling as the endless Kwon techniques he had to practice, hours a day focused on trying to get his body to conform to the odd staff techniques required by all Ranger hopefuls. 

‘The drift is an open connection between two people’s minds, you need to be ready for that, do you really think you’re ready for that?’ She’d always stared right at Sidney when she challenged him. It rattled him, made him look deep inside trying to find whatever she was looking for. ‘Think of your biggest secret, something you’ve never told anyone else. When you share the drift with him he will know all of you and you all of him.’ Sidney was boring, he didn’t have anything he’d call terrible. ‘Tell me.’ 

_I regret giving up hockey._ He’d said tentative an unsure, she’d looked disappointed in his answer. 

“Crosby is like, how to say? Oatmeal?” Geno cackled sleepily over breakfast the first time they were matched. Sidney had scowled at him, mostly just pleased that he’d been selected for the next stage of ranger training and not even Geno’s mocking could get him down. 

All the tests said they were perfect. Some quirk of genetics and engineering, something in their brains reflected. Sidney saw the tests and read the report they gave him. The way he understood it was someone had drawn a map of all of him, and in every dip and valley they had put a hill and a mountain on Geno. A perfect reflection. 

Only taller, lankier, and infinitely less Canadian and much more Russian. 

They had been matched together at the height of the Ranger frenzy, unmatched applicants generally don’t get in now, funnelled into different streams of the Pan Pacific Defence. There wasn’t as much funding for the endless testing required to find out if two perfect strangers were not so strange to each other. 

Dr. Greenfield was worried about the drift. Sidney, she felt was unready for the level of intimacy that came with the drift. Geno was too unstable, filled with emotions he might lose control of at any moment. Either Geno’s rampant emotions would override the bond or Sidney would shut them both down. 

They were going to be fine. 

**Neural Handshake Initiated**

It was so cold, it made the inside of his nose hurt, and there was so much snow, it was up to his knees and the whole world was going to be swallowed by it. Maybe he wouldn’t need to go to school tomorrow. 

He was skating across the ice, pushing himself to win the race to the puck, confident in the knowledge that he was faster. 

He saw the scoring lane open up, and he was going to take the shot. 

Mama was cooking and it made the whole house smell hot and starchy, Evgeni was so hungry. 

The goalie was weak on the paddle-side, he was going to go pro, everyone else was no match.

Taylor screamed bloody murder the way only a colicky baby could. 

**Neural Handshake Complete, holding at one hundred percent**

Titan Rise was the third part of the drift, a towering gargantuan machine, a testament to humanity refusing to roll over and play dead for the Kaiju. Her systems were run by two pilots linking their neural pathways through hers, each controlling half of her. Two people becoming a single functional entity – the brain and soul of a giant robot. 

The pons that allowed that had been a pivotal moment in humanity’s fight for survival. 

Sidney had been fifteen when the first Kaiju, Tresspasser destroyed LA, and what it didn’t destroy was nuked as collateral, while humanity scrambled to stop it from leveling the whole eastern seaboard. Sixteen months later Sydney met the same fate. When Sidney was eighteen the Jaeger program was well underway, each Jaeger custom built to fight the Kaiju and defend the cities along the Pacific Rim. 

They came from the Breach at the edge of the Marianas Trench. Huge monsters straight out of old black and white films. Destructive on a scale that people didn’t even have a vocabulary for. They had been called Kaiju, it fit. 

Their first drift was just a test, stuffed in the simulator to see if they could maintain the neural handshake. It held strong. It was like they were inside each other, he could feel every thought just as Zhenya had it, the nerve impulses seemed to ping off of Sidney before they even made it to Zhenya’s limbs so that when they moved, it was together. He had never felt anything close to it before. It was huge and frightening but it was nothing compared to the flare of determination they shared. 

Later, they brought her through a full systems check, engaging each limb one at a time. Full systems green lights across the board. Zhenya wasn’t just a buzz in his head, he was a part of Sidney. 

They brought Titan Rise through a few of the Kwon techniques to test of the feedback and the strength of their connection. They fell into a defensive stance, Titan Rise fell into a perfect defensive stance. Her limbs were all moved by a mix of hydraulics and individual muscle fibers driven by individual motors. 

Down below the techs cheered, watching as Titan Fall moved gracefully. She was a Mark 4, built for speed and agility, the fastest one to date. If this test went well she would be theirs. Years of training and ambition coalescing. 

So, in the beginning Sidney brought nothing to the drift, just a cool determination and a head for tactics. Rather than be overridden by Geno rather than trying to control too much they instead found the edges where their personalities met. Instead they were amazing. Together they punched a Kaiju right in the ugly face.

Five kaiju kills later and over two years of sharing the inside of his head with Zhenya (Sidney still said Geno out loud to cling to some measure of distance) he brought a lot more. 

Now things were a little more complex, as always seemed to be the way when messy, electricity brained, gory meatbags were involved. (Titan Rise never changed. She never asked for more than she was allowed. Her systems were pure in a way neither him nor Zhenya could claim.) 

The tales around the mechanics table were of ghosts in the circuits, that sometimes in the middle of the night while the pilots were asleep the Jaeger would shift and move if they were dreaming of piloting. It was as if some part of them was hardwired right into her synaptic network. Sidney believed it, drifts became easier, all three of them flowing into the places they had carved out in each other’s souls time after time. Nothing would ever supplant the imprint of Geno on the inside of his skull.

The alarms blared cutting through the relative silence of the night, and Sidney jerked awake. They were stationed in Hawaii currently. Shatterdome nestled in a remote point on Big Island. Across the room Geno was curled into a ball under his blankets, pillow securely over his head like in some reality that was going to get the Kaiju to leave, so he could keep sleeping. Sidney grinned fondly, rolling out of bed so he could hit the button that activated the comm to their room. 

“Look alive buttercup.” Came the voice, Neal was always so damn cheerful at the most obnoxious times, Geno’s resulting cuss was swallowed by the pillows. Sidney rolled his eyes, the two of them were like your typical old marrieds poking fun at each other constantly. “We got movement and it seems to be heading this way.” 

“Category?” 

“Category 3, LOCCNET in Hong Kong has named it Shredder.” 

Geno peeked out from under his pillow long enough to send Sidney a disgusted look. “Why never named Daisy?” 

“Be serious,” Sidney managed to swallow his laugh, this was serious, he was serious. “Let’s get going.” 

“Yes yes.” Geno rolled out of bed, he looked ruffled and tired. So, like any other morning. 

Getting suited up didn’t require any thinking. He’d gone through so many simulations, so many test runs and battles. It was all muscle memory, both quiet as they got into the right headspace. 

The conn-pod hit a moment of freefall as it rattled down the tracks to slot into place in the head of the Jaeger. Sidney’s stomach always dropped with it. His heart beat rapidly, face flushed and palms hot. It was the same every time, and it was new every time. Each time they stepped out there they were the only line between the monster and the people. Him, Geno and Titan Rise. Standing alone in the ocean, Geno snarling _‘fucking get it’_ for both of them. 

That was expected, adrenaline, duty and all the bland things he’d said in interviews when they asked what it was like to be linked when they rode out. People were fascinated by Rangers. He couldn’t explain the bone-deep satisfaction they shared when they stuck one of the plasma cannons directly into a multistory monster’s chest and pulled the trigger. 

The HUD lit up, sensor data streaming in from all sides.

“We have a good start up, all systems go.” 

In a moment every part of him would be exposed to Geno, and in the beginning he hadn’t been afraid of the intimacy of the drift, weary perhaps. Over the last two years he’d come to loath it all the while being giddy with anticipation. 

“Titan Rise get ready to initiate start-up procedure.” 

“Affirmative,” Sidney answered curtly. He was looking over the HUD, all systems seemed to be in working order, the last battle had been over three months ago. All the same, it was nice to see all her systems lighting up green. The engineers every bit a part of her as the reactor at her heart. 

“Yes.” Geno reached out, and Sidney pounded his fist without taking his eyes off the display. Their knuckles knocked, the contact a small measure of comfort. 

“Titan Rise, you will hold the miracle mile, Desert Twilight is en route, ETA 4 hours.”

“I read you.” Sidney looked over to see Geno making a face to match his disgusted sound he made. Sidney knew his reluctance was all for show, he liked to play the cowboy, but Sidney lived in his head and knew Geno would beg on his knees forehead to the ground if it would save one soul on the islands of Hawaii. Sidney learned early in training that confidence made everyone around them feel better. No one made them believe he could walk on water like Geno could. He hid almost every part of himself behind swagger. 

The Miracle mile was named that because if the Kaiju got past that point there was almost no chance they were going to be able to stop it before it made landfall. Where the people were. 

“Tell, won’t need.” Geno scoffed loftily.

Sidney huffed and rolled his eyes. 

Neal snorted. “Sure thing G. Jump Hawks are taking flight, prepare for count down to initiation of neural handshake.” 

Geno went through his own system’s check flicking through the data on his HUD. Titan Rise was fully restocked with i29 missiles which fired from her chest, arm mounted plasma cannon that would reduce anything to burning slag. Had reduced most things so far. Her heart was still the old nuclear reactor cores of the V3s, she hadn’t yet been refitted. 

“Just like any other game,” Sidney said out loud, just to hear the words echo around their pod. It was a familiar phrase from midget hockey all the way through bantam. It was tradition for them, when Sidney had said it after the second Geno did, and that was that. It was like a talisman. 

“Yeah,” Geno nodded looking over briefly for a moment, their eyes met, mirrored emotion. 

“Initiating neural handshake in three, two, one …” Sidney never heard of the end of the count down, he was sucked into the space that existed only in his and Geno’s mind for a moment. A melting pot of both of their memories, tangling up and flowing through them. The trick was to just watch them, to focus on nothing but the current play, ignore past games until they came out on the other side. The mind wasn’t supposed to hold two people and it always took a bit to untangle which bits belonged to who. 

Sidney was catching snowflakes on his tongue and trying to decide if he believed his friends when they said snow was all pollution, but it just tasted cold. Geno was skating backwards and laughing, Dennis was trying to impress his new girlfriend by bringing her to the arena, but she was just clinging to the wall and trying to stay on her feet. Zhenya knew this had been a bad date idea. 

Dennis. Dennis. _Dennis_. Mama crying, a military burial with no body.

Sidney couldn’t offer any kind of consolation, just let Zhenya work through the rage and the pain, let it wash over him and through him like a forest fire, burning him up inside and leaving him hollowed out. Sidney had never lost anyone like that and yet, he’d relieved the mission so many times he’d internalized the moment when the Jump Hawk fell out of the air, that awful moment when they returned to the Alaska base and Dennis and his crew did not. He felt it separate from Geno now, his own anguish over a man he’d never met lost forever. 

That too flowed by (him) them. 

Zhenya sitting at breakfast, staring longingly at the beach outside. Seen from Sidney’s perspective, the way the sun lit his pale skin (they had spent way too long in Alaska) up from the inside. The rush of pure devotion, a tidal wave of feeling that Sidney would never be able to put into words. 

He let that memory slip from his fingers. Each time they entered the drift was a new moment when Sidney remembered how he fell in love all over again. Zhenya never acknowledged these memories. Sidney could risk his life for the human-race but he’d would never work up the courage to climb the walls of that trench. 

They came out on the other side, into the drift, Zhenya’s mind a comfort inside of his head. They went through a quick calibration, he didn’t need Neal to tell him their connection was maintaining at one hundred, he could feel it. Titan Rise responded like an extension of him (them). 

“Beginning launch sequence,” Neal’s voice seemed small and far away as Sidney tested the edges of himself to see if he could find the exact point where he ended and Titan and Zhenya began. He never could, but that no longer made his heart pound. Today he couldn’t tell it either, he could have been contemplating the new chef at the mess but that easily could have been Zhenya. 

They hated meat loaf.

There was a rumble and a jolt, the gyroscope keeping them upright as Titan tipped forward, the launch platform angling down. It was a long process getting the Jaeger out of the hanger, outside the Jump Hawk helicopters would be circling ready to pick up their cargo. The whole platform moved towards the center of the hanger, the roof would be sliding back opening up to the sky. 

“Shredder is maintaining its heading for Hawaii, predicted ETA is two hours, since it last left the Breach sensory array.” 

“Affirmative,” Sidney looked at the HUD, it showed the sonar reading playing on loop with heat readings and current analysis of breach conditions. There was too much ocean to see it coming yet, but it would be. Kaiju were singular in purpose. “We will hold the miracle mile.” 

Sidney didn’t understand Russian, but he knew what it felt like to reach for a word, to need to translate it before he could be understood. It felt natural to do the talking for them. He did all the call-backs for Neal, gave all the reports. Zhenya knew what he was talking about before he said the words- when he spoke out loud it was for everyone else. 

“See that you do.” Lemieux’s voice familiar and comforting. Sidney had a vivid image of him standing in the command center at LOCCNET, hands in front of his face as he leaned over the railing, eyes flitting across all the data at once. Neal sitting in his place in front of the communications station, lit by endlessly scrolling monitors. 

The world jumped a little as they were lifted, Titan Rise rising out of the harbour, shining gold and black in the floodlights. He pulled up the external camera feed from the Hawaii Shatterdome to watch the show; it was awe-inspiring each time, and just a little bit vain. News helicopters circled a little further out, eager to get footage of the Jaeger launch. Zhenya was amused, it felt bright and a little cruel lighting up the analogous parts of Sidney’s psyche. Buzzards, Geno thought, imagining a Planet Earth episode he had watched last week. 

Sidney chuckled. 

The ride out was short and long all at the same time. They didn’t need to focus much on each other, as long as he watched the play of the searchlights over the waves he could stay in the here and now. Geno next to him was thinking about some silly pop-song from the radio, singing it under his breath and in his head. Sidney was stupidly in love with him, and that wasn’t even a big enough revelation for either of them to note. 

There were dropped, gyroscope correcting them and giving a sense of movement as they dangled in the harness, gravity suddenly reasserting itself all at once. They balanced on the landing, displaced water spraying in every direction. Sensor arrays began to map the surrounding darkness. 

Go time they thought.

The thing about looking at the shape of a Kaiju on a monitor and getting punched right in the face by it were two completely different things. Zhenya grunted, as his head snapped to the side, jerking away from the pain. “Fuck.” 

Sidney felt it echo through him a rabbit punch directly to the side of the head. Followed immediately by Zhenya’s rush of irritation at having let it through their guard. 

That was one of the first things they integrated into the first Jaegers, reaction time was cut down when there was physical pain involved. The human brain was wired to avoid painful stimulus, and two melded into one doubly so meaning that Titan Rise was as well. 

They blocked the next strike, arms up in a double guard, pushed back to knock Shredder off balance. The water sprayed around the creature’s landing, glittering in the external lights. They shifted, anticipating it would attack from the side next, unfortunately it was faster than they thought underwater. Six legs and a lithe form reducing water drag. 

Shock rolled through them as they were rocked hard from the side, the massive monster attaching itself to the left of Titan Rise. Each one of the organic blades dug into joints and weak points like it knew they were there. 

It was like being stabbed everywhere at once. Sidney shouted, pain lighting up the inside of his skull and racing across his skin. Shredder twisted, trying to overcome the gyroscopic stabilizers and topple them. Her joints locked in place, and they twisted, executing a neat shoulder throw. Long claws were dug into the left shoulder joint, Zhenya grunted in pain, claws tearing through metal and machinery as it was ripped off them and slammed against the water. 

Their display showed that they were leaking neural fluid into the water. Sidney rerouted the flow, trying to keep it out of the already heavily damaged circuits. It would add a little lag to the left side.

“ _Bitch._ ” Zhenya’s anger flared brighter. Sidney used it to help focus him, to pull every part of him into that moment, blot the ache out. 

They spun around, Sidney charging the plasma cannon in their right hand. ‘Heating plasma cannons.’ The system flashed at them. 

Shredder sprung out of the water, going for their weakened left side but they were ready for it, dodging to the right so it only landed and glancing blow across the chest. They followed it, grabbing it while it was still diving, smashing it down into the water and pressing the barrel of the plasma cannon against the back of its neck. The whine as it heated up echoed in his head, Zhenya’s impatience burning through them. 

The lag was just a little too long and Shredder jerked to the side and slipped out of their grip. The plasma cannon hit it just off to the side of its ugly face, burning away skin, blue blood pouring from the wound and spraying back against the barrel. Water steamed and hissed where the rest of the plasma hit. 

The tail came from the left as the whole Kaiju fell, just stopping them a moment away from lining up a second shot by ramming right into their arm. The shot went wide, blasting water up into a fountain. Titan stumbled left both of them grunting with the hit, the pain receptors in Sidney’s body lighting up feeling it echo back through Zhenya. The blow damaged the calibration in the coils, there was a significant chance they wouldn’t be able to shoot again. 

Anger roared through Zhenya, colouring all of his thoughts until they were sharp, focused like a shiv. If they could stop this from even hurting one person everything would be okay. That thought might have well been his own, his own heart beating harder to echo’s Zhenya’s determination. ‘We’ve got this’ he thought back at Zhenya wordless anger flowing between them.

They rushed it, trying to use the space while it was still down to get the upper hand. Sidney drew back to land a punch, but it was faster. It twisted itself around, the hit just a glancing blow. Covered in the bioluminescent blood, its face misshapen, part of its jaw hanging off as it screamed. Sidney didn’t falter, Zhenya would never falter. They were just slower.

The tail came up attacking from the off-side. Saw it coming just a moment too late unable to get their hands up in time. It crashed right into them, glancing up off their damaged shoulder and into the housing structure for the conn-pod.

At first the sensations were confusing. 

Sidney was bleeding. Could feel the searing heat of it against the sudden coolness as the wind screamed through the rip in the conn-pod. They staggered back, swinging out defensively. The pain was almost secondary. 

Rage swept everything else aside, Shredder was trying to come back, targeting the damaged side. They dodged the blow and threw it off, Zhenya screaming at it, Titan Rise roaring into the night, her own rage underlined everything they did. 

They were in a stalemate. Circling each other, Sidney desperately checking to make sure all their systems were holding up. The plasma cannon on their off-hand would still be functional, the right was giving off a cascade of alarm signals. 

Thankfully, the Kaiju was busy ripping into them, one sharp point at a time, too distracted to tear into the populated cities they defended. 

It was an easy strategy to see through. Shredder would come at them, stab, and retreat while Titan Rise tried to hit back. Every dodge was a little more damage, glancing blows tearing away little bits of circuitry. They were haemorrhaging fluid into the water around them, left arm reaction speed was slowing, leaking coolant and neural fluid. It was a battle of attrition they were losing. 

They’d taken another glancing blow, rattled hard to the side, hard enough that for a long second everything went fuzzy, sensation skittering across his scalp like the tingle of energy. 

Only that feeling of fading wasn’t him. Too distracted to realize that it was Zhenya. 

Icy dread spilled down his spine. His face tingled all down the left side where Zhenya’s brain was linked to his. 

_Focus Sid!_

He couldn’t have told you if Zhenya spoke out loud or just shouted in their minds. 

Zhenya was bleeding to death. 

The awareness trickled through his brain like the blood that was pooling at their feet. Sidney screamed out, fury and fear as they rushed the next time Shredder buzzed them. That seemed to surprise it, off-hand slamming into its already-damaged face. 

It probably didn’t help any, but it did make them feel better for a moment. They followed it, playing dirty, slamming its face one more time and launching one of the chest-mounted missiles at extreme close range. The explosion rocked them, Zhenya gasped. 

It was like having a stroke, or what he imagined it was like. Everything lagging all down one side and the world was spinning, fading out around the edges. 

They were losing systems too fast, everything stopping in painful increments. Titan already protesting that her pilots were dying and she was bleeding out into the ocean. The HUD was flashing, all the feeds indicating that this fight couldn’t go on this way for much longer. 

Sidney was having trouble breathing. More and more of Titan Rise’s processes were being place on Sidney alone. Zhenya was bleeding to death next to him stirring 

Sidney fired two more missiles, they landed both chest shots, ripping huge chunks of steaming flesh leaving a gaping cavern where a heart would go in a terrestrial. The recoil shock hit them, water exploded cold and stinging. 

If they fell here the people on the island would have no defences. Literally an island alone. 

Feeling Zhenya’s consciousness slipping was like being ripped in half. Jaegers were not meant to be piloted by a singular person. It was just too much for one mind to handle. It had nearly destroyed the first test pilots. 

His autonomic systems were being used by Titan Fall to run her. Sidney actually needed to focus to breathe, lungs seizing when he forgot to expand them, sucking in cold air through his teeth. Zhenya hung in the harness next to him, body swaying with the motion of the fight. Sidney pulled the their off-hand gun, backed up as it heated. 

The shot didn’t hit and Sidney shouted a wordless curse. 

Everything hurt. The inside of his brain was seared, thousands of needles going through his eyes and stabbing at his brainstem. Soon something was going to give, his brain, his heart, the pain in his chest like a hot poker. 

Shredder jumped, latching onto Titan’s chest. Sidney forced her arms up, tossing it over her in a hip-throw. 

Time jumped ahead for a second and Sidney found he was dizzy and his chest burned. Sidney gasped, weirdly loud and echoing amidst all the screaming sirens. 

He couldn’t tell if Zhenya was holding on. Out of the corner of his eye he hung completely limp. They were pressed so deep into the neural web of each other that Sidney desperately needed to believe he’d feel it somehow if Zhenya died. That it would take a part of Sidney with it. 

Shredder landed on their chest, Sidney’s vision tunneled. There was something that was almost poetic about all three of them dying here. His only regret being the weight of hundreds of thousands of lives on his shoulders. Water began streaming in through a breach in the conn-pod almost immediately. It was so cold. Sidney dragged a wet breath. Zhenya would soon be lying face down in the water. 

Sidney loved him. Needed him. 

He tossed Shredder off of him and got Titan Rise to stand, water streaming out of the broken conn-pod. She was fading just as fast as he was. Shredder looked like it was coming back for the kill when a loud fog-horn cut through the air. 

Zhenya would have hated it. The first light of dawn cresting over the ocean hit Desert Twilight as she was launched from the jump hawks to land in the water with a splash. It was one of the showiest, cheesiest entrances he’d ever witnessed, it had Tyler Seguin written all over it—‘fucking cowboy’ Geno would mutter with a faked eye roll. Sidney had never seen anything more achingly beautiful. A tiny desperate hope flared to life. 

The emergency release button slipped under his fingers four times before he managed to hit it, almost falling out of his harness when the control network dropped him. The floor was slippery, the water had at least washed most of the blood into the corner. His joints wouldn’t quite able to hold his weight. He braced and caught Zhenya’s body as it fell. They both slid to the floor in a pile. 

“Please be okay. I need you to stay with me right now okay, just fucking be okay.” Words slurred off his tongue, his mouth was numb, but he couldn’t stop them. Each breath was a small reassurance that at least one of them was breathing. He needed to speak out loud because he couldn’t feel Zhenya in his head anymore. 

There wasn’t anything to stop the bleeding with. Neural dive suits didn’t have enough scrap fabric to rip off to use, so he used his own hands worming them under the harder plates until he could reach. Zhenya’s blood was startlingly hot against the shocky-claminess of his palms. Zhenya didn’t react past a weak groan. 

It looked like part of the metal from the conn-pod had speared him when it splintered open. It was gone now, leaving him bleeding out. 

Outside the battled raged on, Titan Rise dead in the water. He could hear the higher whine of Desert’s rapid-fire plasma guns. There was a series of five shots and silence. 

Everything swayed when the jump hawks connected to Titan Rise, the radios slowly come back online as the carcass of Shredder lay in a pool of Kaiju blue, no longer broadcasting a jamming frequency he hadn’t even realized was there until communications snapped back to life. 

“LOCCNET to Titan Fall, please respond. This is Neal to Titan Fall, please respond. Come on guys.” Sidney was sitting propped against the one wall, Zhenya cradled as much as he could without taking pressure off of his wound. Pulse was weak and fast, thrumming like hummingbird wings against Sidney’s mouth when he kissed his wrist to feel for it. 

“This is Titan Rise, I read you Neal.” His voice still wasn’t coming out right, mouth unable to make all the sounds properly. Something was wrong in his tongue, or cheeks, he couldn’t tell. 

“ _Fucking-Christ almighty_ Crosby. Status?” 

“Kaiju neutralized, Malkin is down and requires urgent medical attention.” 

\--

They made Sidney rush to an MRI once he arrived at the hospital. Jaegers were not meant to be piloted alone and Sidney was still having trouble speaking and moving and they were worried about brain damage. Titan Rise burning through him as he’d continued to fight with Geno slipping in and out. 

That thought made his heart pound, so he focused on the things that didn’t. Words that weren’t brain damage, and the dizzying thought that he might never pilot again. 

Sidney didn’t need any continuous monitoring and there wasn’t anything in his own hospital room he needed. Anyone who knew Rangers would know exactly where to find him if they needed something. Sidney pulled a thin blanket closer around his shoulders, pulled himself as tightly into the uncomfortable hospital chair as he could. It was supposed to recline but that didn’t seem to help any. Geno lay still as death. He was so pale, skin almost white as the bedding around him. At least Sidney could watch the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

They had pumped no less then thirteen packs of blood into him as it continued to pour out. Sidney had begun to cry on what was the longest ride back to the Shatterdome, clutching Geno to his chest and praying to god that he’d know if he died. 

Drift hang-over meant they were still linked together somehow, meant that Sidney thought he knew what it felt like to literally bleed to death. The knowledge that ever beat of his heart was killing him (them). 

In the last moments Geno had been hazy, unable to control his thoughts as they wandered. That horrible moment when Sidney was fighting for both of them, burning through his brain and Geno was thinking ‘Hello Denis’. Sidney still wanted to scream out the anger that rattled in his chest. Instead he let himself drift and tried to work through those last few confusing thoughts. 

Sidney had expected the fear, there wasn’t as much rage as he would have expected. Geno was anger incarnate when they went into battle, corralled and forged by Sidney’s rigid thought process. It was the regret that Sidney couldn’t explain. Huge enough to eclipse everything else, the terror, the sadness. He couldn’t fall asleep, how could there be something so huge that Geno would focus on that when he was about to die and Sidney didn’t know what it could be. 

Eventually he was so exhausted that he fell asleep anyways. 

Everything felt fuzzy when he woke up, far away, someone was murmuring but it wasn’t in a language he knew. The words were familiar. He dreamed in those words, the harsh jagged letters. 

“What?” Sidney, found himself bundled up in two blankets with a pillow stuffed under him. For a moment Sidney was convinced they grew up together, that he’d kissed his man once, passed it off as playful joke—the thought ended, too painful to continue. “Who are you?” 

“You know me.” Sasha was brushing the hair back from Geno’s forehead, letting his fingers play through the short dark curls with a familiarity that made Sidney’s heart ache. 

“Sasha.” His mind knew the word but is tongue wasn’t used to wrapping around it, his name came out sounding clumsy. 

“Call me Alex.” Sidney nodded, began to pull himself out of the burrito of blankets he’d been be wrapped in. 

“Sure.” 

Outside it was the middle of the night. The hospital wasn’t quiet, but it was it was muted. Far away. People walking past, conversations too far away to pick the words apart, nurses murmuring to each other. Geno was still sleeping. They were worried about kidney damage from the hypotension. Not to mention the laceration to his liver. Possible infection. 

The world swayed when he moved too fast but it was better than the terrifying weakness of yesterday.

“Finally I get to meet the man who makes Zhenya mope.” His smile wasn’t kind, neither was it specifically cruel. Before today Sidney had never met him, but he knew this was fairly typical of Alex. 

Sidney was quiet for a long time, if he’d eaten anything he’d be worried about losing it all over Alex’s shoes, everything in his head felt bruised and sore. Instead he tried to focus on the calming blandness of the floor. Tiles made perfect squares, their right angles a sharp ninety. 

“What?” Sidney, blinked slowly, the room coming back into focus. He still felt like he was going to be sick everywhere but that was apparently just the brain injury. 

“I hear all about you,” Alex scowled at Geno. “All the time.”

 _‘I know you, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.’_ The words never made it as far as his mouth and Sidney just shrugged tiredly, let them get tangled up with the rest of the things he was too wrung out to deal with tonight. 

“Stupid man, serve you right to die miserable and alone.” Alex spoke to the still form of Geno in a scolding tone. Alex probably meant it. Alex always acted on the heart on his sleeve. Sidney liked that about him.

—Geno liked that about him. 

“He’s not going to die.” Sidney protested, a beat delayed between his brain and his mouth.

“Look like death.” Alex brushed Geno’s hair back from his face again and he shifted slightly in his sleep, toes curling down. Sidney smiled despite himself, pleased with any sign of life. 

“It was pretty close, he lost a lot of blood.” 

“Stupid.” Alex sighed, slumped in the chair next to Geno. 

Sidney nodded and let his eyes slip shut again. 

He didn’t mean to sleep. Exhaustion took him under again, but not enough to rest, just enough so that he dreamed wildly and vividly. 

In his dream, he was at church and everyone was speaking Russian. 

They were piloting Titan Rise, and Sidney looked over to see himself. Only it wasn’t the him he saw in the mirror all the time, instead he seemed larger, jaw set with determination, had his skin ever looked that clear? He’d had a lot of acne as a teenager that had left the odd scar here and there. Zhenya’s heart was beating too fast, it thumped in his temples, it was pouring blood all over his feet. It was so slippery he couldn’t get his feet under him, Sidney was gone now, and he knew it was too late. 

Sidney woke up angry. 

Too vivid to be a dream, they didn’t dream very well anymore, each other’s memories filling in the blank spaces at night. Kaiju filled the rest. That was a memory. There was always hangover from the drift, no one could quite explain it. There was no neural network to connect them through biomechanical engineering. Every Ranger knew it happened.

Sidney spared a glance, Geno looked to be asleep now, restful instead of pale and unmoving. Some of the colour had come back to his cheeks. Maybe that was just the morning sunlight spilling in through the window. Untangling himself from the blankets Sidney stood carefully and set off in search of Alex. Today walking was easer, just stiff from sleeping in a reclining chair. His left side was stronger, didn’t feel like it could give at any moment. 

He took one more look at Zhenya before he left the room. 

“Good to see you awake,” Alex was sitting in the cafeteria playing something on his phone and ignoring a steaming bowl of pale soup in front of him. “Wonder if you dead too.” 

“He’s not dead.” 

Alex kicked out the chair across from him in a voiceless invitation and Sidney sat down heavily. 

“Eat anything yet?” 

The question surprised Sidney into shaking his head, the soup was slid across to him, spoon and a napkin following it. On reflex Sidney replied: “Thank you.” 

Sidney realized he was hungry as soon as the smell hit him, something cream based, oily enough to see the distortion of light on the surface, but he didn’t even care. Under any other circumstance he’d be embarrassed by the sheer lack of grace while he tried to get as much scalding hot soup into him as possible with hands that still didn’t quite respond. He couldn’t have told you what it tasted like. Alex watched for a couple of seconds, must have realized that Sidney was too busy to talk and went back to his phone. 

He was typing something out in a bored fashion when Sidney finally stopped long enough to speak, “thank you,” he repeated. Meaning it from the bottom of his stomach this time. 

“Look for me or look for food?” Alex spoke while still pecking at his phone. From this angle Sidney couldn’t see what he was doing just that he was giving it a lot more focus than he was sparing for Sidney. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Sidney looked down at his hands, fingertips pressed against the tabletop nails blanching, his ears felt hot. The food had been an added bonus really. 

Alex blinked at him, up close Sidney could make out streaks of grey in his hair, in the stubble on his jaw. He looked to the side, shifting in his seat under Sidney’s stare.

“I –uh, earlier, you said I make Geno cry?” Sidney managed not to wince at how badly the words came out. “I mean, w- what are you talking about?” 

Alex stared at him like he was insane. “You live in Zhenya’s head, don’t you?” Alex wiggled his fingers at Sidney. “Shouldn’t you know?” 

“Thought I did.” Even in his own head it sounded clipped and bitter. 

Alex sighed, drooping in his chair a little. He muttered something in Russian that Sidney knew from hanging out with Gonch and Geno contained at least three different curses all strung together. 

The thing about sharing a drift was that it was the most intimate thing two people could do. Literally looking under every rock and in every dark corner of each other’s minds and coming back to it over and over again. All pilots were either family matched (more common as the Ranger program lost funding for the extensive testing it took to ensure two minds would be compatible when it came down to it), or were a couple. 

The whole Shatterdome made assumptions about the nature of Sidney’s relationship with Geno and neither of them bothered to correct them. Yet, Geno had never once acknowledged just how desperately in love with him they both knew Sidney was. This was unexpected, unfamiliar.

Alex fidgeted with the phone in his hands. “How to put it delicately? Zhenya has huge gay love for you, he wants no less than ten babies to name all Sidney Jr.”

Sidney snorted. 

“I think I’d know something like that.” 

Sitting in the filthy corner of a broken and bleeding Titan Rise, clutching Geno’s limp body Sidney had to acknowledge that no one would ever be able to replace Geno. Not when he’d literally cleared out a spot for him in Sidney’s neural map, there were parts of his brain that knew literally nothing but the way it felt to be one with Evgeni Malkin. 

“Maybe yes, maybe no.” Alex looked tired, nothing like the bright happy-go-lucky memory of him. “Zhenya most stubborn man in all of Russia. I check.” 

"You’re probably right about that.” Sidney replied with a twist of his mouth. 

Sidney’s eyes caught on Seguin and Benn sitting at their own table, dressed down in sweats, must be from their post-mission physicals. They had their heads bent together, drift hangover; to them the world was made of each other, high on the kill, the victory. 

Alex followed his line of sight. “Pilots,” shook his head with a quirking smile. 

He'd been devastated when Zhenya matched to Sidney instead of Alex, the two of them could have been rock stars. Sidney knew this because he remembered Sasha being bitter and angry and Zhenya had been too angry back at him to understand. Petty. Fighting like the young men they were, only Gonch kept it from coming to actual blows on several occasions. 

“None of my business.” Alex said with a leer in their direction. 

Bullshit, Alex was a terrible gossip, he was like that aunt no one liked, but had all the best juice. “Bullshit.” 

Alex quirked one of those borderline cruel smiles at him. 

“Maybe, ask Zhenya.”

Alex got up, chair scraping loud and obnoxious on the floor. “Stay, I get more soup.” 

Sidney couldn’t argue with that. Alex didn’t stay past that, for all that Sidney knew him, he didn’t know Sidney and they didn’t have anything in common that wasn’t Geno, and they had exhausted that topic for the time being. Besides, Sidney wanted to be alone. 

He caught Benn’s eye as he was watching them, Benn quickly panning his head around the room like he could tell someone was watching him. Desert Twilight had to be dispatched all the way from the LA shatterdome, jump hawks were not made for long hauls and had to be swapped out at Hawaii shatterdome. They would be here for a bit while the logistics of getting them back was worked out. 

With Shredder’s radio jamming ability Desert Twilight had to have been dropped blind into the middle of the battle. It was amazing the four of them made it out alive. 

Sidney’s knees cracked as he stood, passed by them on his way out. He gently pounded Benn on the top of the head as he passed, getting a swat on the hip in return. Seguin’s eyes tracked him, watching every place that he touched Benn with such a possessive light that Sidney felt a little embarrassed for them to be seen in public. Tyler smiled like an animal baring its teeth. 

He found himself at the door to Geno’s room again because there wasn’t else in the hospital to be. Honestly there was no where else he wanted to be given all the world. 

“Don’t do that to me again.” Sidney said softly and Geno’s eyes slit open to look at him. 

“Not on purpose.” 

Sidney smiled. This time when he flopped down into the chair next to the bed it was with a lighter heart despite the gurgling in his stomach from eating too fast. 

“Need anything? I can get a nurse.” 

Geno shook his head subtly. “Probably just more sleep, feel like hit by train.” 

“Something like that.” Sidney agreed with a helpless little smile.

\--

He didn’t bring it up right away. He didn’t need to, there was time now. No one was dead. The knowledge was like a warm blanket, something between them that could blossom. They had diagnosed Sidney with a traumatic brain injury when he’d still been off a few weeks later despite no further lingering left sided weakness. 

He spent a lot of time finding quiet places to enjoy the company of his own thoughts because he wasn’t supposed to tax his brain any more. It gave him a lot of time for self reflection, Dr. Greenfield would have been so proud. 

He spent a lot of time trying to decide what went wrong in the fight, the moment they had gone from winning to losing. Titan Rise was still being repaired, she wouldn’t be ready to roll out for awhile yet. Not that her pilots were in any shape to do much of anything. Geno spent a lot of time doing light training, trying not to pull the healing tissues in his abdomen. 

Sid had been cleared to join him today. 

They ran side by side on the treadmill, breathing almost in perfect time with each other. It made him think of the things Alex had said. Geno’s face was flushed with exertion, back sweaty from his run. 

Today would be the day. He just needed to find an opening, a smooth way to bring it up.

Geno began the cool-down phase of his jog and Sidney automatically matched him, slowing his pace incrementally. They came to a stop within minutes of each other. Geno gave him a smile from the corner of his eye. The timing was likely because he knew Geno so well and not because of any ghost of a drift. Geno used the same pattern for his jog almost every time. 

Geno wiped down the machine and made moves towards the showers. 

“Hey G?” Sidney caught his attention. Geno turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. They were alone in the small gym, weights all stacked in neat racks, the treadmill was still flashing the length of their jog. He’d gotten used to the smell of old sweat moments after walking in but noticed it now. 

“Sid?” Geno prompted when he didn’t continue. There wasn’t actually a smooth way to bring it up. If there was Sidney was too awkward to think of it. 

He gave Geno a smile. “I talked to Alex.” 

“Hm?” Geno’s tone was light but his eyebrows drew together, mouth tightening tellingly. 

“How did you hide it from me?” It wasn’t a question what, Geno felt something for him, that much was a given even it wasn’t the desperate love that Sidney felt for him. Big gay crush. It was more a question of why. 

“Not hide anything.” Geno’s face closed down completely, arms crossing across his chest. “I don’t know what Alex told you, he so full of shit.” 

“Geno.” Sidney said evenly. Glad his work out gear didn’t have pockets forcing him to keep his body langue open. 

“It’s nothing Sidney.” 

Geno ignored him when Sidney called after him. The door closed behind him with a soft slide. Sliding hydraulic doors did a lot to ruin dramatic exits. Sidney closed his eyes. If he was being honest with himself he didn’t really expect much more initially. Geno never said what he meant out loud, an irritating personality flaw that usually led to incorrect assumptions and more than one fight. 

He sighed quietly. He wasn’t going to let this be the end of it. 

\--

Sidney was eating in the mess hall with some of Titan Rise’s technicians. Tanger was showing him some new video of his kid learning to walk, toddling towards the camera unsteady on fat little legs. He sat down about half way and crawled the rest much to his mother’s amusement. 

“Cute.” Sidney smiled indulgently. 

Because Tanger was full of shit, “Right? Just like his Dad.”

Titan Rise was almost completely repaired. They had worked feverishly to complete it, workers like ants crawling all over the gargantuan robot, welding torches flaring and tubes hooked into her nervous system. No evidence left of the vicious fight. The conn-pod had been reconstructed too. The gaping hole had been erased like it had never even been there. 

“Crosby.”

Lemieux strode up to him, he always walked like he meant business, shoulders straight and head held high. Unlike any other CO Sidney had worked with he never tried to lead through intimidation, he always had a little half-smile on his face despite his fast pace. People fell over themselves to impress him, that translated into the Hawaii shatterdome running a tight ship. 

“Sir.” Sidney replied, around him everyone sat up straighter, subtly at attention. 

“Are you done eating?” 

There were a few crumbs left on his plate, he’d mostly been enjoying some of his coffee rations and shooting the shit with his tech team. “Yes sir.” 

“See you later,” he tipped his head at Letang who just gave him a little smile and wave. He followed Lemieux through the innards of the shatterdome towards Titan Rise’s hanger. 

She stood gleaming in the overhead lights, black and gold and looking whole again. Sidney tipped his head back to look up at her from toe to shoulders, head missing where the Conn-Pod would drop and lock into place. Something unknotted in his chest and settled. Sitting at her feet on a table, his own feet dangling in the air was Geno. 

He stood at sloppy attention as they approached. Lemieux gave him an indulgent smile giving him a little wave to indicate he should be at ease. 

“I’ve got the reports form medical, you’re both cleared for duty. Titan Rise has reached green-status. Tomorrow we will begin drift testing.” 

“Sir.” They both nodded. 

“So get your shit together. Remember you’re all that stands between the entire South West coast and the Kaiju.” 

They both whipped around to stare at him, Sidney tried to wipe the shocked look from his face. He was giving them a level stare. Sidney felt cowed but Geno broke eye contact first, looking over at Titan Rise. Sidney nodded minutely. Mario had been there, he’d been one of the first test pilots to enter the drift, his wife Nathalie at his side she’d been one of the lead researchers into the Jaeger piloting problem. 

“Yes sir.” Sidney replied sharply. Geno grunted. 

Lemieux left them alone in the hanger. Everyone else was at lunch, none of the technicians left to interrupt them. Sidney kept quiet until receding footsteps were completely gone. 

“So are you ready to talk yet?” 

Geno gave him a sharp annoyed look.

“I’m going to know everything tomorrow anyways.” 

Geno grunted again, eyes trained on the floor. He had his shoulders hunched, pulled in on himself, Sidney hated to look at him this way. Geno was brash and playful, temperamental and sweet all at once. He was a contradiction and a beloved puzzle. To a certain extent he was Sidney’s, just as Geno was forever engraved into Sidney’s head so he would be in Geno’s. That was how being a pilot worked. 

“I felt it,” Sidney began, unable to look away from Geno’s familiar shape, “when you were dying I could feel how cold it was.” Frigid ocean water or blood loss. No amount of training or psychiatric evaluations could have ever prepared him for that moment. “Your—regret.” He paused, not sure if that was the right word. 

Geno snorted, “dying, have a lot to regret you know. Kaiju destroy city, mama and papa be very sad.”

“That all?” 

Geno made an irritated sound. “What more you need?” 

Sidney clenched his teeth, he loved Geno with everything he had. That didn’t stop him from getting frustrated with him all the time. “Sure G. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He wasn’t sure if he meant it to come out as a promise or a threat. Either way they would take it all into the drift with them. Dying, surviving, falling in love, playing hockey, Sidney’s first awkward kiss. 

He retreated to their shared barrack, he was sure that Geno would sulk outside until night, he wouldn’t risk running into Sidney. Geno had two reactions, aggression or avoidance it was clear which one he was going with today. He threw himself into the bunk and let himself process his frustration. Why Geno wouldn’t just come out and say it. 

Much to his surprise it was only about half an hour before Geno returned. 

“Sid.” He said roughly. 

Sidney sat up, swinging his legs around so he could look at Geno properly. Sidney’s heart kicked up a notch. “Yeah?” 

“I regret,” he paused, looking at the wall to the side of Sidney obviously, face flushed pink, “we fail and lots of people dead. Regret leaving family too. When I died Kaiju destroy Titan, destroy you too. Sidney dead too.” Here he paused, taking in a fortifying breath. 

Sidney bit his tongue against the reflex to ease some of his distress. Geno looked like he was going to continue and a part of Sidney didn’t want to give him the easy way out. 

“Feel stupid, die without getting to kiss you.” 

Sidney tried not to smile and failed. Geno shot him a shy look from under his lashes and went back to resolutely staring at the wall clearly tense. 

“Geno.” Sidney had obviously and glaringly been in love for months, Geno knew that any of his advances would have been enthusiastically reciprocated. 

“How did you—we drift.” 

Geno laughed suddenly. “Sid so easy to fool, think about other things, think about Kaiju and Sidney doesn’t notice at all. Told you a long time ago, drifting with you like porridge.” 

He flushed, rolling his eyes. He’d never brought much into the drift, he’d let Geno roll over him without thinking too hard on it. Then it had become just part of their lives and Geno had become a familiar extension of himself and he never needed to look closer at it. 

“Kiss me.” Sidney said firmly startling Geno into looking directly at him. Geno flushed brighter red, spilling in a blotchy pattern down his throat. 

“Can’t,” Geno’s voice was rough. 

“Why?” Sidney’s own face felt warm. Jaw clenched hard. 

Geno sighed explosively. “In Russia, men don’t,” he made a brief slashing hand motion, “it’s unnatural. Many years, I—I don’t,” Geno was tense, whole body looking like he was ready to bolt.

“Hey,” Sidney began but Geno bulldozed over him. 

“Tried to tell mama once, but she very angry. If I kiss you, she’d—no Denis, no grandbabies, it would break her heart.” 

Sidney’s own heart felt tender, bruised for Geno because even not connected it clearly upset Geno. Anything that upset him would eventually become Sidney’s problem. 

“Zhenya,” Sidney said cautiously, and Geno sucked in a sharp breath. The look he gave Sidney was scared, longing, shifting slowly into the brazen determined look he got when he was ready for a fight. 

“I’m kiss you now.” 

Sidney couldn’t help the smile. Despite his determination Geno approached him cautiously, Sidney didn’t dare to move lest Geno startle when Sidney was so close to getting what he wanted. 

He braced himself on the top bunk and tipped towards Sidney, watching him the whole while. Sidney pushed up a little meeting him half way for a chaste kiss. 

Sidney curled one hand around the back of Geno’s neck, drawing him down and closer until he was doubled over almost leaning on the bed. He broke the kiss to sigh against Sidney’s temple.

On an impulse Sidney scooted back tugging Geno with him until he was kneeling between Sidney’s legs so they were face to face on the bed. His lips felt pleasantly warm from their kiss and he moved to deepen the next one, slipping Geno a bit of tongue. Geno made a shocked noise but allowed it, opening his mouth. 

Sidney made a hungry noise, unable to stop himself from lifting his hands to feel Geno’s back, his shoulders, his neck. Geno braced himself on Sidney’s shoulder, the other hand coming up to cup Sidney’s face gently. It was everything Sidney imagined, the smell of him, the taste of him, the solidness of him under Sidney’s hands. 

They kissed and kissed until Sidney felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

“I’m not sorry about this.” Sidney said against the wetness of Geno’s mouth. 

Geno huffed, breath fanning Sidney’s face. “Not a very good Canadian.” 

“No.” Sidney agreed, licking into Geno’s mouth again because once wasn’t enough. He was never going to get enough. Not of this. Geno’s soft lips opening against his, the wet slide of their tongues together. He wasn’t going to give Geno a reason to stop this, wasn’t ever going to let go.

“Fuck,” Sidney said quietly and with conviction when Geno finally tore himself away to pant softly. Sidney kept kissing at his cheeks, his nose, the jut of his jaw. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself. “G, you’re gorgeous.” 

Geno huffed against his hair as if he didn’t believe it. 

Cautiously Sidney tipped sideways, pulling Geno down with him. There was a moment of resistance before Geno followed him down, landing on the bed next to Sidney. They sat there for a moment, face to face on their sides. Geno’s face was flushed, mouth wet and swollen from Sidney’s kisses. He looked absolutely perfect. 

“What?” Geno asked, looking away. 

Sidney reached out to touch his mouth drawing his thumb across the full bottom lip, drawing Geno’s attention back. He couldn’t stand Geno looking away from him. 

“Nothing,” Sidney smiled and leaned in to kiss him again since it had been almost a whole minute since he’d kissed him last. “I’m just happy.” 

“Gay.” Geno mumbled and Sidney couldn’t help but laugh, pulling Geno in closer. Geno went willingly, twining around Sidney’s limbs keeping him close. Not quite enough.

Sidney twisted around so he was lying on top of Geno, keeping him pinned down with his weight. Geno’s hands gripped at his back, sliding down his back and sides groping at him shamelessly. 

Geno was looking up at him, and Sidney leaned in for another kiss. That lead to another and another. Geno’s fingers were flirting with the bottom of Sidney’s t-shirt. Feeling brave Sidney ran his own hands over Geno’s stomach, tugging at his shirt. 

Geno froze, Sidney paused as well, pulling his hands back and petting them soothingly over Geno’s sides. “What is it?” He asked, pressing soft kisses against the corner of Geno’s mouth. It was a lot, Sidney giddy with it and willing to take whatever he was offered. 

“Ah,” Geno looked shy, “I’ve never fucked with a man before.” 

Sidney should have guessed that, still it caused a kick deep in his stomach. A quick breath through his teeth. He paused for a moment, fingers tightening on Geno’s skin as he worked through that thought and the accompanying rush of heat. _Fuck_. 

Geno’s look turned surprised then sly, “you like?” 

“Yeah G, I like.” There was a possessive thrill in knowing he’d be the only man for Geno. 

With a bit of help he managed to get them arranged, Geno’s thighs splayed wide with Sidney fitting himself between them. Geno didn’t look unsure this time so Sidney tugged his own shirt out of the way, Geno wiggling out of his. Sidney had seen Geno in every state of undress, but never like this, under him, flushed and aroused. 

Sidney groped at his pec, the solid muscle there, firm little pink nipples. Geno sucked in a startled breath and let Sidney explore. He twisted against the hands run along his side with a huff and Sidney was careful not to tickle him again. 

“You look good like this,” Sidney said, embarrassed but not able to keep the words to himself. Geno gave him a startled look that smoothed out into smug. He wiggled his hips, stretched his arms up a bit to elongate the lines of his torso, he knew what he looked like and he knew what Sidney liked. He was already so long, Sidney’s mouth flooded with saliva just looking at him. Geno looked up from under his lashes and pulled Sidney down against him. 

He couldn’t have been light but Geno didn’t seem to care, just sucked on Sidney’s tongue and moaned. Sidney wanted to hear that again so he pinched one of Geno’s nipples, that got him a low rumbling groan. 

“Yeah, just like that.” Sidney mumbled. 

He kissed his way down Geno’s neck, stopping occasionally to just breath against his skin, sliding his tingling lips across vital structures. Sidney licked at his pulse. Geno’s fingers moved fretfully through his hair, shifting against the bed. Sidney could feel the line of his dick beginning to harden in his sweats. Sidney had felt himself getting hard as soon as Geno let him kiss him, he was way ahead of the play here. 

Sidney could help the urge to sink his teeth into the solid muscle of Geno’s pec, it startled a sound out of Geno that had Sidney almost purring. So he did it again, digging his teeth in just a little. Geno’s fingers tightened in his hair, holding him to his chest with short bitten of breaths. Sidney let go and licked softly over the bite marks. When he managed to look up at Geno he looked ravenous, his eyes huge licking his bitten lips. 

“Sidney.” He groaned out, tugging at Sidney’s hair clear in what he wanted. Sidney laughed, dipping his head to tongue at one rosy nipple. 

Geno’s hips moved in little jerks, uncoordinated movements. Sidney braced himself with one hand beside Geno’s shoulder and snuck the other down so he could get his hands on his ass. “Oh.” Geno startled for a moment but let Sidney move him as he pleased. 

With one hand on his ass he was able to control the roll of Geno’s hips. Geno twisted around until he was able to get his hands on the hem of his pants. He tugged it down until Sidney’s hand met smooth skin. Sidney groaned into Geno’s chest, digging his fingers into the meat of Geno’s ass. Thick with muscle, he’d practically memorized the bounce of his ass. 

Geno also managed to wiggle his pants the inch down he needed to free his dick. Heavy and hard against Sidney’s abs. 

“Oh god.” Geno swore, he looked wild so Sidney bit down on his chest again, using his grip on his ass to roll Geno’s hips against his abdomen. 

“Sid,” Geno breathed. “Sid, Sid, kiss me.” 

He couldn’t say no, he’d never been able to say no. He had to let go of Geno’s ass to slide his way back up his body while Geno made it difficult, gripping at his hair, his shoulders, his biceps. Sidney practically fell into the kiss, Geno’s leg coming up to his side so there was space in between his thighs. Geno’s hips jerked up, letting his hard dick slide against Sidney’s overly warm skin. 

“Pants,” Sidney begged. Geno didn’t hesitate just kissed Sidney’s cheek, wiggling away until he was untangled long enough to kick off his sweats. Sidney lifted up long enough to tug his own uniform pants down with his underwear and kicked them off the end of the bed. 

That much warm skin was almost worse, a shock to the system. He could look down between them and see Geno’s thick cock bumping against his own. Geno was murmuring at him, begging for more kisses so Sidney stopped staring like a kid who never saw his own dick and got back to the business of trying to map every inch of Geno’s mouth. 

Geno twisted around, knees tight around Sidney’s hips. He grabbed one of Sidney’s hands and put it back on his ass. 

Sidney gave it a squeeze and stopped to look at him, “like that eh?” 

Geno gave him a dark look and knocked his knee into Sidney’s ribs. Sidney laughed, pressed a wet kiss to his shoulder and gave his hips and experimental little roll. His dick just bumped into Geno’s gracelessly, sliding along his hip. 

“Think about for long time,” Geno eventually confessed against Sidney’s mouth, soft little kisses between words that didn’t quite distract him, “fingers, dick. I like fingers.”

Sidney groaned loudly. “Think about my fingers?” 

“Yeah,” Geno slid a hand between them, one huge hand pressing Sidney’s dick into his own, both of them against his stomach. “Think about me fucking you?” 

Geno made a wordless sound, knees tightening for a moment, trying to pull Sidney into him. “Yes.” 

Geno by himself in the shower, trying to stuff himself awkwardly with fingers while thinking about Sidney fucking into him. “I’ll do it, promise.” 

“Please.” 

Geno let go of their cocks so he could lick at his own hands. It was still a bit dry when he wrapped his huge hands around them but that gave him just enough of an edge to not lose it all over Geno embarrassingly fast. 

Geno’s arms were in the way but he was able to get his teeth around one of his nipples. Geno let out a shocked sound, transforming into a long moan when Sidney got both hands on his ass spreading his cheeks open. 

“Tell me how you want it.” 

“Sid,” Geno made an irritated huff, Sidney bit him again, sucking playfully. 

“Come on, I want to know.” It was thrilling knowing that Geno had thought about this, that he had wanted it enough to imagine it. After so long feeling helpless he couldn’t help but smile. He rubbed his middle finger across Geno’s hole dry and he jolted. He desperately wished he had some lube, anything to slick the way so he could feel the tight clutch of Geno’s body.

Geno was flushed a brilliant red giving Sidney an annoyed look that he just had to kiss. “Dick,” Geno hissed at him, derailed when Sidney rubbed gently at his hole again. 

Sidney rocked them both, toes dug into the blankets so he could thrust up into Geno’s warm hands. 

“Like this,” Geno explained, “except your dick in me.” 

Sidney chuckled. Fine, he’d learn eventually. The best way to fuck him, get fucked by him, the best way to swallow that gorgeous cock. 

Geno eventually came like that, Sidney torturing one of his nipples with his teeth. He went still under Sidney, writhing as he came in wet spurts. Sidney just had to pull back enough to watch. Geno’s face was slack, whole body still minutely jerking as he came down from his high. 

Sidney sat back, kneeling so he could look at Geno all splayed out across the bed. He looked sated and pleased, his abdomen was smeared with his come. Where Sidney had mad him come. Geno’s chest was littered with red marks, some of them might even bruise, wet and slick with Sidney saliva. He’d been thoroughly worked over. 

“Fuck.” Sidney swore with feeling. He got a hand on his own dick intent on jerking off quick and dirty, Geno batted his hands away. It was shocking how slick his grip was. Fucking into Geno’s hands wet with his own come. Sidney grit his teeth, unable to look away from Geno’s big hands on him. He slumped forward, braced over Geno and thrusting into the slick tunnel his hands made. 

Geno kissed at his jaw, tongue sliding across his bottom lip. 

Sidney made a low noise straight from his chest, wounded. “Sidney, come on me.” 

“Fuck,” It was a little embarrassing but that was all it took. He jerked and came, twitching as he came wet and hot all over Geno’s abdomen. 

Geno was giving him a smug look as Sidney tipped his head forward again. Sidney caught him rubbing their come into his stomach and all the breath left him in a wheeze. “Fuck.” 

“So you say.” Geno shrugged against the bed. Looking rumpled and beautiful. 

“Jerk.” 

Sidney swung off him and sauntered over to the little bathroom. Geno watched him the whole way. 

\--

“We have a good start up sequence, reactor is at full power and holding steady.” 

Sidney had watched proprietary as Geno wiggled into the under suit that helped propagate the nervous impulses from user to the neural network between them. It also helped with the haptic feedback and pain impulses. One of the bite marks had bruised a bit, he wasn’t sorry. He couldn’t stop looking at it until Geno was all covered, the high collar hiding everything. 

They bumped fists together as was custom. 

The frame descended around them, the collar locking them into place with the harness that left them suspended side by side. The holo-display was running a full diagnostic of Titan Rise, so far everything was green across the board. 

“You ready?” Sidney asked, and Geno just rolled his eyes. His stomach dropped as the Conn-Pod dropped, rolling along the rails until it slotted into the housing on Titan Rise. They jolted into place. 

“Prepare for neural handshake.” Neal’s voice rang through the pod. 

Geno looked over at Sidney, unsure for a moment. Sidney just gave him a nod. No matter what else was going on they were rangers and Titan Rise was a part of them. Death, fear, love, that was all part of both of them that they would bring into the drift. 

“On one, three, two, one --” 

The drift was like being pulled under by a rip tide. One moment he was looking at the HUD then he was out of his body. He was in his own head for a moment, and then he was in Geno’s. 

Skating on the frozen pond his father maintained. 

Eating ice cream on a sunny hot day. 

Watching the Jump Hawk caught in the cross-fire. 

The taste of his grandma’s peanut butter cookies. 

Sidney’s own face hovering over him, his eyes were intense, dark in his flushed face, lips stained red. He looked huge like that, blocking out everything else like there was nothing else to see. His own orgasm face was kind of dopey. 

Sidney looking at him, sunlight streaming through the open bay windows. His eyes were soft, unable to hide anything he was thinking and Geno’s heart thumped hard. Please don't fall in love with this one. 

“Neural handshake complete holding at 100 percent.” Neal’s voice anchored them both into reality. It was like every other drift, him and Geno creating two halves of a whole filling Titan Rise with a brain and a soul. 

“Okay boys, lets take her through her paces.” 

They had a world to save.

**Author's Note:**

> Near death confession trope 


End file.
